Do you know anyone who has ever made a decision solitary? Somebody who needs nobody’s advice? The world runs on influence. Your parents decide your field of study, your best friend decides who you date, your gym instructor decides what you eat and that girl you’re jealous of, decides what you wear. If you know what I mean.
We did this experiment on a friend once. For three straight days, around ten of us told him he looked like he was going to die. Guess what, fourth day, he decided to lie down and wait for death.
There used to be a time, when people had nobody to go to for guidance. My mother wanted to be an architect since she was thirteen, but then she studied pure science because that’s what all her siblings did, and now, twenty years later, she is a banker. It makes no sense, right? Over time, most of us have realised this. We have now become so cautious, that we don’t do anything without seeking advice. There’s an unsaid rule we all follow before we make any decision.
Keep all options open.
And some go an extra mile. They get themselves em’ role models. Parents, teachers, peers, colleagues, cousins , it could be anyone. We have this tendency to look for a role model in every achiever we see. The reason is quite simple. Once you have a role model, all you have to do is imitate them. Do what they’re doing, exactly the way they’re doing it. There is no question of self discovery.
Copy their hair cut, their walk, their talk, their diet, sometimes even their tattoo. I used to patronise this girl in school once. I used to love her, look up to her, imitate her accent, her grades, wear my hair the way she did , took her advice on which course to pursue after school , even dated someone who looked like her boyfriend. Then one day I saw her grinding against some guy at a McDonald’s. He had gold highlights and a tongue piercing for crying out loud. She had dropped school, and everything had gone horribly wrong after. My role model could now just be a B-grade model for a soap ad, may be.
Deciding who your role model is a decision almost as important as deciding who your life partner will be. Because the minute you commit to someone that way, every time you have to decide something, there’ll be a voice in your head asking, what’d he/she do?
Dr. Seuss says, Today you are you, that’s truer than true. There is no one alive, who is you-er than you.
So like me, if you can’t decide, remind yourself of the most simple trick in the book. Be your own Role model. 🙂
Nobody cares about you as much as you do. No role model or Godfather can decide what’s best for you, better than you. So when you want to decide on something important, make a coin toss with yourself. Heads you do this, tails you do that.
And when your coin is in the air, you’ll know what you want, this or that.